Blog  /  Fearless, Parenting  /  Fearless: A Lesson in Honesty and Courage

31
Aug
2012
fearless

Fearless is a series about women living fearless lives. The words fearless and courageous are used interchangeably, however I like the word “fearless” more. I’m not sure why, I just do.  A shortcoming of the word “fearless” is that it tends to communicate a lack of fear. So, what do I mean by it? To that, I look to the great John Wayne who said, “Courage is when you’re scared to death, but you saddle up anyway.” For the purpose of this dialogue, that description is exactly what I mean by “fearless.” Not without fear, but not controlled by it either.

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There are defining moments in our parenting journey. These slivers of time also align with the defining moments in our children’s lives. Simple, but we often forget that the choices we make in these moments shape our children for good or ill.

Often we botch it. I’m grateful for the Grace that undoes the damage I cause and repairs broken roads.

But, the times that we tap into the power of God and get it right reverberate in the souls of our kids forever. We had one of those moments not too long ago.

One of the prayers that I consistently pray for my children is that they will get caught in every lie that they ever tell. My parents always prayed the same for me. It might seem like an unusual prayer, but I want dishonesty to become so unworkable, so ineffective for my kids that they stop attempting it. Even in the times when they aren’t found out by someone else, I pray for the Holy Spirit to make them so uncomfortable, so disquieted that they confess to their lies just to have relief.

You see, God put a conscience inside us all. Once we invite the Holy Spirit to indwell us, that conscience becomes super-charged. But, if we consistently repress it; If we beat it back and ignore it for long enough, we can become immune to its leading. God save us from ourselves in this sin! I pray that all the members of my family always remain sensitive to the leading of the Holy Spirit in our hearts, and to the restlessness that our sin ought to bring.

Recently, one of my daughters had to face a lie. Well, actually, a cheat and then a lie to cover it up. After she confessed to me  and the watershed of guilt released, she knew what she would have to do in the morning. She had to come early to class, me by her side, and confess to her teacher what she had done, ask for forgiveness and then face whatever consequences that came.  It was a double lesson in honesty and courage.

It was a lesson in courage because she was terrified to talk to her teacher, but she did it anyway. Often we think bravery and courage come because we don’t feel afraid, but in reality, courage means doing the right thing even in the face of frightening circumstances.

Lord, may I always teach my children that sometimes the path of least resistance is the current pulling us over a waterfall; that what is right is not often what is easy. Most importantly, make those holy truths present in my life, so that I will go first and lead my children to You.

Karis Murray

Karis Murray is a wife, mother, writer, gardener and watcher of NCIS. She is passionate about parenting with Grace, being her husband’s best friend and trying to live her life fearlessly. She is the Creative Director at Family Matters where she sits in the back closet (her office) and writes the Family Matters Minute, answers multitudes of frantic email questions and apparently also crafted this blog post. She also writes at her personal blog www.candidmotherhood.com and her desert gardening video diary www.cultivatingdust.com.

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Comments

  1. They say, “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree,” and I believe that is true in your family! LOVELY blog. THANKS for sharing! And BTW…I prayed the same for my kids and I’m seeing them pray the same for theirs! APPLES!

  2. Tim says:

    It’s amazing how much good is done for a child’s longterm wll-being (both individually and relationally) when they are taught to own their dishonesty and face the consequences of it. It is equally amazing as well as saddening how much utter damage a parent does who trivializes their children’s dishonest actions and assist them in the cover-up. You’ve given a gift to your child that will reward her over and over again as she lives out her life.