Blog  /  Fearless, Parenting  /  Fearless: A Lesson in Honesty and Courage

31
Aug
2012

Fearless is a series about women living fearless lives. The words fearless and courageous are used interchangeably, however I like the word “fearless” more. I’m not sure why, I just do.  A shortcoming of the word “fearless” is that it tends to communicate a lack of fear. So, what do I mean by it? To that, I look to the great John Wayne who said, “Courage is when you’re scared to death, but you saddle up anyway.” For the purpose of this dialogue, that description is exactly what I mean by “fearless.” Not without fear, but not controlled by it either.

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There are defining moments in our parenting journey. These slivers of time also align with the defining moments in our children’s lives. Simple, but we often forget that the choices we make in these moments shape our children for good or ill.

Often we botch it. I’m grateful for the Grace that undoes the damage I cause and repairs broken roads.

But, the times that we tap into the power of God and get it right reverberate in the souls of our kids forever. We had one of those moments not too long ago.

One of the prayers that I consistently pray for my children is that they will get caught in every lie that they ever tell. My parents always prayed the same for me. It might seem like an unusual prayer, but I want dishonesty to become so unworkable, so ineffective for my kids that they stop attempting it. Even in the times when they aren’t found out by someone else, I pray for the Holy Spirit to make them so uncomfortable, so disquieted that they confess to their lies just to have relief.

You see, God put a conscience inside us all. Once we invite the Holy Spirit to indwell us, that conscience becomes super-charged. But, if we consistently repress it; If we beat it back and ignore it for long enough, we can become immune to its leading. God save us from ourselves in this sin! I pray that all the members of my family always remain sensitive to the leading of the Holy Spirit in our hearts, and to the restlessness that our sin ought to bring.

Recently, one of my daughters had to face a lie. Well, actually, a cheat and then a lie to cover it up. After she confessed to me  and the watershed of guilt released, she knew what she would have to do in the morning. She had to come early to class, me by her side, and confess to her teacher what she had done, ask for forgiveness and then face whatever consequences that came.  It was a double lesson in honesty and courage.

It was a lesson in courage because she was terrified to talk to her teacher, but she did it anyway. Often we think bravery and courage come because we don’t feel afraid, but in reality, courage means doing the right thing even in the face of frightening circumstances.

Lord, may I always teach my children that sometimes the path of least resistance is the current pulling us over a waterfall; that what is right is not often what is easy. Most importantly, make those holy truths present in my life, so that I will go first and lead my children to You.

Karis Kimmel Murray is the author of Grace Based Discipline: How to Be at Your Best When Your Kids Are at Their Worst and the Creative Director of Family Matters®, a ministry who’s internationally hosted parenting and marriage events, radio and television broadcasts, articles, videos, website and best-selling books (written by Karis’ parents and Family Matters’ founders Dr. Tim and Darcy Kimmel,) Grace Based Parenting and Grace Filled Marriage, have been used by God to transform tens of thousands of families into instruments of His restoration and reformation.
Karis writes and speaks for Family Matters as a voice to the next generation of parents. Karis is co-host of The Family Matters Minute, a nationally syndicated one-minute radio segment heard by millions of listeners every weekday.
Karis lives in Scottsdale, Arizona with her husband Mike, their two teenage daughters and a ragamuffin menagerie of pets.

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