Has God ever illustrated a spiritual principle to you through your children? I think that’s one of the reasons He loans those kids to us. Maybe that’s why He gave Tim and me four – we needed to learn a lot of lessons. Kids are one of God’s visual aids in our lives and God used our daughter Shiloh to show me the power of my words one afternoon in my kitchen.

It was the beginning of lacrosse season and Shiloh was commenting on how out of shape she was and how frustrated she was, as the team captain, with her performance at practice that day. This is where I proceeded to put not one, but both feet, in my mouth. I said something like, “Yeah, Shiloh, I saw you dropping the ball out there. It looked like you were having a hard time keeping a hold of anything today.”

Shiloh finished her snack and went upstairs and that’s when the Holy Spirit convicted me. I realized my words that so easily slipped out were not the words that she needed to hear. Shiloh didn’t need another critic, she needed a cheerleader. She had been on the edge of despair at practice, knowing that she wasn’t doing her best and she had rushed home, needing to have some assurance that it was just a bad day – that she wasn’t a bad player. I chose to join the crowd of detractors. I realized that I was the one who failed that day. I went upstairs and found her crying. She told me that she knew she was dropping the ball. What she needed was someone to tell her that she could catch it.
She needed words of belief, words of help and words of affirmation. Our kids have people telling them how they’re not measuring up all day long. They need to know that there is one person (us) that they can count on to believe in them, to support them, to love them no matter how they perform.

“Shiloh, please forgive me. I had no right to say that. I love watching you play. I am so proud of the way your team looks up to you and follows your leadership. Please forgive me. I am very sorry and I love you so much.” Just another set of words strung together, but exactly what she needed to hear. Her face transformed into a smile and she gave me a hug.

God used that instance to remind me of the power of supportive words and also the power of asking for forgiveness when I’ve blown it. After her season started, Tim and I were sitting in the stands watching her team play and one of the parents leaned over to us and said, “Congratulations on Shiloh. You must be very proud”. Well, of course, we’re proud of Shiloh for lots of reasons but asked if there was something specific he was referring to. He said yes, that according to the official stats at that point in the season, Shiloh was the number one girl’s high school lacrosse player in Arizona. That year, she led the state in hat tricks and points scored. The next year was her senior year and, in a deliberate effort to hand her position of leadership over to the younger players, she decided to let them score and she led the state in assists.

I’m convinced that had I not replaced my words of criticism with words of belief, help and affirmation, her stats may have been very different. Just a few words, but oh so powerful!

Here’s to the power of positive words and eating lots of crow,

Love, Darcy

One of the many cool things about being a grandparent is that you get to relive some of the more exciting parts of parenting. Tim and I recently took our two granddaughters to Disneyland for a few days. This was their Christmas gift from us and we decided to take them during their spring break. Unfortunately, a lot of other people decided to come to Disneyland on their spring breaks. How dare them!

At times, we felt like salmon swimming upstream, but even with the crowds, we had a fabulous time. With the girls being 10 and 8, there were no strollers to manhandle, no one to pick up and carry, only a reasonable number of bathroom stops and both of them were tall enough to go on all the rides. Which we did – utilizing the fast pass system for the most popular rides that had a three hour long waiting line!

As we were doing our best to have all the fun we could squeeze into those few days, we noticed that wasn’t the case with some of the other mouseketeers. In fact, there were some very unhappy people at the “happiest place on earth”. You’ve got to chalk some of the discontent up to fatigue, long lines and heat, but as we “people watched”, we determined that it wouldn’t matter how many treats, souvenirs or rides some of these kids got to experience, they were still determined to demand more.

Even our granddaughters stopped and stared at some of the battles that were going on between an indulgent parent and a whiny child. Knowing how much this experience was costing the parents, I wondered if the thought crossed their minds that they could have had the same “fun” at home for nothing.

But rather than stand in judgment of those ungrateful kids and their baffled parents – hey we’ve all been there and done that – it reminded me that I’m often that way with God. He lavishes me with His love, His grace and His favor, and I choose to focus on what I don’t have instead of what I do have. And talk about expensive! The cost of His blessings for me is immeasurable.

Our trip to Disneyland, besides being a special memory with our granddaughters, reminded me that I want to choose contentment over comparison and gratitude over greed. Hopefully, I’m learning that the happiest place on earth for me is right where God has me, within His perfect will. After all, contentment is the seed of gratitude.

Here’s to livin’ it up in Cars Land and keeping it down on the Tea Cups,

Love, Darcy

Blessed is the King who comes in the name of the Lord. Luke 19:38

As Easter approaches, we are coming to a most holy time of year. If Christmas is the bow and wrappings of our faith then Easter is what’s inside the package.

Somehow though, Easter doesn’t get the same billing as Christmas. Yes, Easter has its own super character, its own candy line and retailers depend upon it for a boost to their monthly sales total. But the celebration of Christmas has become its own season, demanding our attention from Black Friday to New Years Day. And if bottom lines are really the bottom line, Christmas wins as far as the number one holiday celebrated here in the western world.

That’s why we as parents must be deliberate in giving this holy holiday special significance in our own hearts and in our homes. For me, it’s a time of contemplation and humility as I’m reminded of the incredible sacrifice the Heavenly Father was willing to make on my behalf.  Reading the scriptures, singing worship songs, and taking communion have renewed significance as I remember the life that was given to pay for my sins. There is a humble gratefulness and sweet intimacy that is revived this time of year.

As we were raising our children, Tim and I wanted our kids to realize the significance of Easter and as much as possible, according to their age, we wanted them to understand the true Easter story. So in addition to bonnets, baskets and new clothes, our family did some things throughout the years to help us celebrate the significance of this resurrection Sunday.

When our kids were growing up, we collected age appropriate books that told the Easter story in traditional as well as innovative ways. As we approached Easter, I took these books off the shelf and put them in a handy basket to read to them. Some of the books were interactive and one even had an Easter play that we acted out as a family.

In the weeks leading up to Easter, our church faithfully supplied stories, crafts, activities and wonderful music for our kids. One of our favorite crafts that we used year after year was an egg carton full of plastic eggs. Each egg was filled with an object that told part of the Easter story. Palm leaves, fur for the donkey, bitter herbs for the Passover, thorns, nails, cloth for Christ’s robe, toothpicks made into a cross… etc. to make eleven eggs. The most important egg though was the twelfth egg – the empty one signifying the empty tomb.

We would use these twelve eggs like the advent calendar and end up opening the empty egg on Easter morning. Our children loved to take turns selecting an egg and telling the significance of its content. It helped to make it real to them. At that time, we made our own resurrection eggs (and you can also make your own by following this tutorial), but if you aren’t that crafty or just want an easier way to do the same thing, Family Life now has these very cool and well made Resurrection Eggs Our children use them now with their kids and our grandchildren love them.

By far, the annual activity that had the most lasting impression on each of us was watching the Jesus Movie the night before Easter. If you don’t own a copy of this excellent portrayal of Christ’s life, I highly recommend that you buy one. We watched it year after year and it really brought Christ’s sacrifice and his victory over death into our hearts and minds in a lasting way. After watching the movie, one of us led the family in a sweet time of communion. It was a special evening for our family and a creative way to make sure that none of us bit into our chocolate bunnies on Easter morning without realizing what we were really celebrating.

The greatest and most sobering responsibility that we as parents have is to point our children to the cross. Easter provides many ripe opportunities. Carpe Cadbury! (Seize the eggs)

Here’s to Remembering the Resurrection and Rejoicing in Easter,

Love, Darcy

Mothers manufacture a lot of guilt, especially when it comes to making sure their kids are prepared to face the big, scary world. I experienced this a lot as my kids were getting ready to leave the nest. I would go through a mental checklist. Did they know how to:

Handle a credit card

Wash their own clothes

Make Ramen Noodles and Macaroni and Cheese

Change a tire or call a tow truck

Write a thank you note or email

Etc, Etc.

With my girls, I also thought they should know how to sew – at least enough to keep ahead of loose buttons and ripped hems. But on this one, they really weren’t very interested in learning. Until…it made sense within their own world and then they taught themselves. Our youngest daughter acquired the skill when her best friend was going on a mission’s trip to Africa and could only wear long skirts. Shiloh’s labor of love resulted in 4 or 5 colorful, flowing skirts for her special friend.

Our oldest daughter saw the light of Singer when she was a young bride and needed curtains and crib bedding for their new baby on the way. Now they both sew circles around me. Karis made beautiful matching quilts for their two girls this Christmas and Shiloh regularly sews stunning purses that are sold to support a ministry for young girls who just need an extra boost.

Although I could have beaten myself up for missing the chance to teach my girls how to sew before they left home, somewhere along the way, they learned how to love and serve  their families and give to those who just need a little added help.

It’s a good reminder to keep the main things the main things. When we concentrate on our kids’ hearts, sure we might fail to imbue some of our checklist items, but we teach the life and love skills that make a difference in God’s Kingdom. Whether they learn how to thread a bobbin or not.

Here’s to zig zag living and seamless love,

Love,

Darcy

Does the thought of having people over give you hives? Do you start a panic attack when you envision an event at your home?

Hold the cortisone cream and take a deep breath. Help is on the way. With these three easy steps, I’ll have you channeling Martha Stewart and looking better than she ever did in an apron.

1. Keep the goal of the evening/event in mind. You want to provide a welcoming respite and a bit of encouragement to your guests. When you remember why you’re going to all this trouble to go out of your comfort zone, you’ll maintain a better attitude as you navigate the unsightly piles of debris, Windex outages, and mismatched goblet collection.
2. KISS – Keep it simple sweetie. This is not the time to try one of those beautiful magazine cover extravaganzas. Stay with your signature entrée, tried and true, even if it’s a deboned Costco chicken with bagged salad and French bread. Simple means fewer things can go wrong. Add some flair by pulling out your cloth napkins, grandma’s dessert plates or that bottle of champagne you’ve had hanging out in the laundry room since 2008.
3. Keep the conversation tuned to your guests and make them the stars of the evening.  People are energized when they talk about themselves and it gets you off the hook for being clever and witty. Finish up by treating them to the most expensive ice cream and store bought cookies you can afford to buy.

These are the things that will stick in their minds as they walk out your front door thinking they have just been treated to a taste of five-star hospitality.

Is it any wonder that at the end of Paul’s Top Ten Ways to Show Love in Romans 12:  9-13, he reminds us:

“Always be eager to practice hospitality.”

Here’s to simple pleasures and contented company,

Love Darcy

Thinking of our 6’ 4” son as a little boy might seem like a stretch. But Colt was at one time a rough and tumble bundle of energy and cow licks – bruises and scrapes everywhere you looked. As the youngest of four, he was not to be deterred from doing everything his siblings did and more.

We used to tease that part of Colt’s daily wardrobe should include knee pads and a helmet. This kid hardly ever cried either. That was probably good when it came to the pain he endured in his adventures but not so good when you were trying to discipline him and wanted some hint of repentance.

He gave his mother (me) the opportunity to get to know the emergency room staff on a first name basis. By his freshman year of high school, Colt had lost his front teeth twice. Once in a skateboarding accident and once in his own knee during a wrestling match.

Just like every child, Colt went through the process of trying on hats when it came to who he wanted to be when he grew up, but his choices always seemed to center around rescuing and protecting others. It was a soldier when his older brother Cody thought he might go to the Naval Academy so that he could be on the same ship and protect his big brother. At another point, it was a policeman so he could get the bad guys. And his favorite was a fireman so he could keep people safe and, at the same time, run into burning buildings, drive a huge truck and wear cool gear.

Well, this month Colt realized his dream as he graduated from the Phoenix Fire Dept. Academy and is now a full fledged fireman. As with most dreams, it didn’t happen by accident. This kid, who at times showed the motivation of a slug to get his Saturday chores done, set his sights on this dream and went after it deliberately and relentlessly.

Colt spent three summers of his college years fighting forest fires in northern Arizona – a job that paid less than Starbucks and had many more hazards and discomfort. But he loved it. Then when he heard that the Phoenix Fire Dept was going to be hiring after a three year hiring freeze, he decided to jump into the race along with about 6,000 others who had the same dream.

Between spending every weekend for the next two semesters driving down from Northern Arizona University to volunteer at different fire stations, paying for EMT training on his own, and making 600 flashcards on his iPhone to study for the test, God was gracious enough to let him be one of the 45 who were hired by the Phoenix Fire Dept.

It was a God thing and Colt doesn’t take that for granted. Knowing that this dream was achieved because he felt called to this life and wanted it badly enough that he was willing to do all the hard work to get there does something to a mother’s heart.

We’ll talk about all the new things I have to pray about at another time. But I will tell you that the sound of a siren no longer falls on deaf ears. It’s a call to prayer for me because I know that some mothers’ sons and daughters are putting their lives on the line for all of us because of a dream come true for them.

Here’s to little boy wishes and dreams come true,

Love, Darcy

***************

We are all raising our children to do something significant with their lives and answer the call God has for them. That’s going to take courage on your part and on the part of your child. Homegrown Heroes is a book that will prepare you and inspire you as you begin to grow the seed of courage that God has planted in everyone’s heart. 

It was one of those rare times when I got to pick Lydia, our grand daughter, up from school. You talk about a boost to the ego! She squealed my name, gave me a huge hug and handed me her lunch box stuffed full of papers and projects.

As I strapped her into her booster car seat, she began to tell me that they had learned about the planets that day. “Nana, the ‘earf’ is a planet and it has a moon. When the moon is dark, it is a new moon and when it is all light, it is a full moon. My teacher says that Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon. I don’t believe her. I think he is pretend. And do you know what else Nana? When God made the ‘earf’, it was all dark and then God said, ‘Let there be light’….. Nana, do you know that Jesus is God?”

About that time, something else caught her attention and my celestial lesson came to an abrupt end. “Nana, look! A garage sale sign. Can we stop?” Well, of course, we stopped.

As I lifted her out of the car, she made a beeline for a pink bicycle that someone had outgrown. Lydia got the helmet from the handle bars, put it on and took the bike for a spin down the driveway. When she got off the bike and replaced the helmet, she announced, “Nana, I already have a bike. It’s blue and blue isn’t my favorite color, but I told Mommy that I am going to be thankful for what I have.”

Do you know how easy it would have been for me to buy that pink garage sale bicycle for her? But in doing so, I may have undermined a lesson that we all need in life and especially during the upcoming holiday season: Rather than focus on what we don’t have, we all need to be thankful for what we do have. Faith, Family, Friends, Freedom and in Lydia’s case, a blue bike.

Jesus, the Creator of the heavens and the Light of the World, came to give us the best gift of all – His life and His love. Let’s return the favor as we live our lives to honor God and serve others. I guarantee you will enjoy everything else you have even more this Christmas.

Here’s to Four Year Old Theology and Garage Sale Wisdom,

Love, Darcy

© Copyright 2008 Darcy Kimmel

Every year we gather our four children, their spouses and our grandchildren together for a week of family vacation. It’s one of the most ambitious scheduling feats we ever attempt, but it is always worth it.

Of course as parents and grandparents, there is such a feeling of contentment and gratitude as we are able to see and experience the totality of our branch of the family tree – all together, functioning as one wild, crazy and fun entity!

But wait – we’re not the only ones who benefit from this whirlwind week:

• Cousins get to lay the ground work for a lifetime of connection.
• Spouses get to know the other siblings who played a role in their mate’s life and commiserate about landing in this family tree.:)
• The sisters and sisters-in-law get to bond and become good friends
• The brothers and brothers-in-laws get to widen their circle of guy friends and may even cross over to best friends.
• Potential spouses (dating) get to see the whole kit and caboodle and decide if they’re really up to it.
• Accountability, encouragement, enfolding strengthens each heart and family unit.
• Every week adds up to a lifetime of living, loving and growing into a family – for better or for worse.

Each year we try to think of some activity we can do to get to know one other better. This year, we did the Adult Flag Page.

It was so great to figure out which country we all hailed from and the dynamic that creates within our marriages, children’s lives and our friendships. We had an amazing variety all four countries – Fun Country, Peace Country, Perfect Country and Control Country.

It was hilarious to hear over and over again, “So that’s why you’re like that” or “That’s why we get along so well, we’re from the same country.”

Everyone had such a fun time doing the Adult Flag Page and we’re still talking about it. In fact, we all now have a common vocabulary to discuss and celebrate the different ways God made us. Next year, we might even go so far as to cut the guys from Fun Country some slack when it’s time to do our “Getting to Know You Better” activity and they’re just jabbering away.

How’s that for the outcome of a family vacation?

Here’s to fun, family and the future.

Love,Darcy

I know I’m preaching to the choir when I say that parenting is about as close to an Olympic sport as us non-professional athletes get. Think about it…. Parenting takes unwavering commitment, months of preparation, years of practice, lots of sweat and tears and involves a reward that may or may not come immediately.

You don’t have to explain these Olympic events to a seasoned parent.

Sprinting: What we do every morning to get everyone ready to leave the house and be at school and work on time.

Gymnastics: Trying to cook dinner, keep a fussy baby happy, get the two year old out of the locked bathroom and be in something other than your pajamas when your husband comes through the door asking, “How was your day?”

Synchronized Swimming: The delicate dance of getting ready for church on Sunday so that all of us arrive dressed, fed, using our inside voice, before the offering is taken.

Balance Beam: Figuring out just how important soccer teams, dance routines, riding lessons, Boy Scouts, and Taekwondo are to the big picture of life.

Hurdles: Those inevitable obstacles in life that keep us from eating lunch, getting to bed, paying our bills, reading our devotions and having a home cooked meal on the table.

Freestyle: What our teenager wants to do to drive us crazy.

Tug of War: What happens when tempers get short, kids get hungry and Moms are out of patience.

Marathon: Every day of a parent’s life as we hit the walls of discouragement, fatigue, dirty diapers, sticky floors and endless laundry.

But despite all of these herculean efforts, few of us would want to quit the team. Most days we love it, and for the days that aren’t so great, well…, we know that’s just part of the game and get through it..

However, unlike an Olympian, us parents have an even greater prize waiting for us because God has called us to a holy race with eternal beings at stake. And when we pour our lives into these precious souls, God invites us up to the platform and, as He places the medal around our necks, He whispers in our ears, “Well done, good and faithful servant”.

Hang in there Moms and Dads. You’re all champions.

Here’s to long days, short nights and gold medal love,

Love,Darcy

Do you ever secretly (or not so secretly) long for a different stage of life? Maybe you want to go back to being DINKS (dual income, no kids). Or perhaps you’d like to return to the days of one child instead of four. Or just possibly you’d like to experience life without:

• Diapers
• Two year olds
• Carpooling
• Teenage angst and
• Never ending laundry.

Or maybe instead of doing without the above, you’d like to try life with:

• A full night sleep
• Your own package of Oreos
• A sweet little 1 year old who doesn’t talk back yet
• Clean floors and
• Time for yourself

Now that our nest is empty, I actually have all of those things on these lists. (Hey! I feel those jealous glares. Don’t give up. It’s on the way for you too.) But now that I have what my heart used to long for, I’m often nostalgic for those past times. The sweet memories of the way things used to be put a big smile on my face.

I know it’s hard for you mommies of preschoolers to understand why I might want to revisit some of those yesteryears as you stare at the garage door, willing it to rise and deliver your reinforcement. Or you moms of tweens and teens may have a “are you crazy” comment as you run out the door, throw the Taxi light on the top of the SUV and race to the next activity.

Call me super crazy but I even miss the chauffeuring, the backpacks lying around, the shoes scattered under foot and the unmade beds (maybe just a little). Of course, just when I’m knee deep in sentiment, I trip over Tim’s junk and am reminded that the kids may have flown the coop but the rooster is still strutting around leaving his stuff in his wake.

I’m relearning the lesson that I learned at every stage of motherhood – be content with where you are. I’ve discovered that I have to be just as deliberate to choose contentment in this stage of life as I did in the other seasons of my life. Contentment is not having what you want, but wanting what you have.

And it starts with gratitude – being thankful in all things. In fact, gratitude is the seed of contentment. When you can be thankful for whatever age and stage you’re in, then you begin to enjoy the things that fill up your life and you actually grow to appreciate them and, viola, you become content.

What are some of the simple things you can be thankful for at this stage of your life? Sticky floors? (You’ve got a roof over your head); Loud music coming from the family room? (Your teenagers’ senses are working fine); A hardworking husband who’s late for dinner? (At least he has a job). You get my point.

Way too often we are so anxious to get through a stage and get beyond a season, somehow under the delusion that the next one will be better than the one we’re in, that we fail to reap the benefits and enjoy the treasures of the time we’re in. Tim loves to remind parents that when it comes to raising our kids – the days are long but the years are short.

Contentment teaches us that life is never perfect but God is always good. Why not make a choice to be grateful for your life as it is right now and usher in the covering of contentment.

Here’s to wanting what you have in order to have what you want,

Love,

Darcy