Bombs, Dirty Mail, Fertilizer Explosions, and Floods:

The third week of April 2013 failed to live up to its springtime reputation. The fresh sounds and smells of a winter coming out of hibernation were overwhelmed by apocalyptic headlines and apoplectic reactions to seemingly unending destruction and death.

First there was Boston. Having crossed a few marathon finish lines myself, the last thing I’d want to be concerned about is the possibility of pressure cooker bombs and missing limbs. Then there was Capitol Hill and Ricin laced letters to lawmakers. Explosions in Texas and the flooded streets of Chicago rounded out a cable news week from hell. Whether the causes were sinister, accidental, or simply nature’s fury didn’t seem to minimize the unsettling impact these roundhouse kicks could have on people’s sense of calm and confidence.

As a nation, we tend to respond extremely well to these kinds of events. We’re good at locking arms when attacked and running to each other’s aid when situations sucker punch the innocent. But what we do as a group doesn’t always align with how we feel when left to our own thoughts. It’s the nature of negative surprises—especially ones designed to strike terror.

Yet, these very same setbacks afford us the opportunity to do two things that are extremely valuable. First, they force us to pull closer to God’s chest. It’s easy to take the good life we enjoy for granted until something terrible manages to slip beneath our myriad layers of self-protection. Whether its unleashed evil or untamed circumstances, fear can seize our heart so tightly that it leaves a permanent imprint from its grip.

We can’t let that happen. When people allow their fears to define them they’re forced to live in a state of emotional punishment that will always limit their capacity to love.[1] God loves us too much to let us exist as people defined by our fears. His protecting, assuring, and calming grace can actually help us leverage weeks like last week to empower us to rest in his perfect love.

The second valuable opportunity we gain from trying times like these is to give our children a chance to watch us remain calm while our resolve is put to the test. In John Steinbeck’s book, The Grapes of Wrath, he tells about the fierce dust storms that would roar across the Midwest plains carrying with them the power to destroy the crops and people’s livelihoods in their path. The adults (parents and grandparents) would study and stare at the aftermath of the storms, but the children would just stare at the face of these adults. What they saw on those parents’ and grandparents’ faces told them whether they needed to be worried. In the same way, our children are looking to us during these trying times to determine whether or not they should be truly afraid. They need to see on us that look of hope, courage, and determination that can get them through these kinds of tough experiences without being redefined by them. You can do this by giving these events the glances they deserve, while keeping your eyes trained on the Lord who has everything under control.

The writer of Hebrews says what I’m trying to say much better. How about we let him have the last word. “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.” Hebrews 12:1-4

One of the many cool things about being a grandparent is that you get to relive some of the more exciting parts of parenting. Tim and I recently took our two granddaughters to Disneyland for a few days. This was their Christmas gift from us and we decided to take them during their spring break. Unfortunately, a lot of other people decided to come to Disneyland on their spring breaks. How dare them!

At times, we felt like salmon swimming upstream, but even with the crowds, we had a fabulous time. With the girls being 10 and 8, there were no strollers to manhandle, no one to pick up and carry, only a reasonable number of bathroom stops and both of them were tall enough to go on all the rides. Which we did – utilizing the fast pass system for the most popular rides that had a three hour long waiting line!

As we were doing our best to have all the fun we could squeeze into those few days, we noticed that wasn’t the case with some of the other mouseketeers. In fact, there were some very unhappy people at the “happiest place on earth”. You’ve got to chalk some of the discontent up to fatigue, long lines and heat, but as we “people watched”, we determined that it wouldn’t matter how many treats, souvenirs or rides some of these kids got to experience, they were still determined to demand more.

Even our granddaughters stopped and stared at some of the battles that were going on between an indulgent parent and a whiny child. Knowing how much this experience was costing the parents, I wondered if the thought crossed their minds that they could have had the same “fun” at home for nothing.

But rather than stand in judgment of those ungrateful kids and their baffled parents – hey we’ve all been there and done that – it reminded me that I’m often that way with God. He lavishes me with His love, His grace and His favor, and I choose to focus on what I don’t have instead of what I do have. And talk about expensive! The cost of His blessings for me is immeasurable.

Our trip to Disneyland, besides being a special memory with our granddaughters, reminded me that I want to choose contentment over comparison and gratitude over greed. Hopefully, I’m learning that the happiest place on earth for me is right where God has me, within His perfect will. After all, contentment is the seed of gratitude.

Here’s to livin’ it up in Cars Land and keeping it down on the Tea Cups,

Love, Darcy

It was one of those rare times when I got to pick Lydia, our grand daughter, up from school. You talk about a boost to the ego! She squealed my name, gave me a huge hug and handed me her lunch box stuffed full of papers and projects.

As I strapped her into her booster car seat, she began to tell me that they had learned about the planets that day. “Nana, the ‘earf’ is a planet and it has a moon. When the moon is dark, it is a new moon and when it is all light, it is a full moon. My teacher says that Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon. I don’t believe her. I think he is pretend. And do you know what else Nana? When God made the ‘earf’, it was all dark and then God said, ‘Let there be light’….. Nana, do you know that Jesus is God?”

About that time, something else caught her attention and my celestial lesson came to an abrupt end. “Nana, look! A garage sale sign. Can we stop?” Well, of course, we stopped.

As I lifted her out of the car, she made a beeline for a pink bicycle that someone had outgrown. Lydia got the helmet from the handle bars, put it on and took the bike for a spin down the driveway. When she got off the bike and replaced the helmet, she announced, “Nana, I already have a bike. It’s blue and blue isn’t my favorite color, but I told Mommy that I am going to be thankful for what I have.”

Do you know how easy it would have been for me to buy that pink garage sale bicycle for her? But in doing so, I may have undermined a lesson that we all need in life and especially during the upcoming holiday season: Rather than focus on what we don’t have, we all need to be thankful for what we do have. Faith, Family, Friends, Freedom and in Lydia’s case, a blue bike.

Jesus, the Creator of the heavens and the Light of the World, came to give us the best gift of all – His life and His love. Let’s return the favor as we live our lives to honor God and serve others. I guarantee you will enjoy everything else you have even more this Christmas.

Here’s to Four Year Old Theology and Garage Sale Wisdom,

Love, Darcy

© Copyright 2008 Darcy Kimmel

Grandparenting…. Don’t get me started. If you’ve already entered the holy of holies of grandparenthood, then you know what I mean. If you haven’t, there are no words to describe how wonderful this new role is. Suffice it to say that grandparenting is our reward for not selling our own children on e-bay! (I know you’ve thought of it!!!).

Besides all the fun involved in being a Nana or Papa, I hope you know how vital you are to the family picture, especially in our modern culture.

Grandparents fill in the gaps, take up the slack and offer stability when families are going through crisis, challenges and changes. And when we make the decision to step up, we are the big winners. We expand our sphere of influence and in the process, even gather a few more step grandchildren to love.

“God sees step grandchildren as an opportunity for you to expand your role as a blessing giver, a legacy maker, a torchbearer of the truth, and a standard setter for living an abundant life….

Five Ways to Be a better Step Grandparent

1. Keep God’s perspective that this is an extension of your ministry to your family.
2. Always take the high road and refuse to traffic in disappointment or blaming when it comes to the circumstances and people that brought about the new family configuration.
3. Take it slowly and gently. Allow the new grandchildren to figure out where you fit in.
4. Always speak with respect about the other adults in the picture.
5. Count it as an honor to pray for these precious children. “And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me” (Matthew 18:5). “

Excerpted from Extreme Grandparenting: The Ride of Your Life.

When we get the opportunity to be a step grandparent, we can play a redemptive role in these sometimes unfortunate scenarios and offer love, mercy, grace and acceptance to every grandchild caught in the middle.

Marriage is challenging. Raising children is challenging. But I’ve found (with but one grandchild and one soon to join us) that grandparenting is a whole set of different challenges. Not bad. Just different.

I’ve heard a lot of folks say something like, “Well, they’re not my kids. Been there. Done that.” They load up their RV and head for who knows where. And while it’s true a grandparent has been there and done that with their own children, there is yet so much we can do as grandparents to influence and bless the next generation if we are purposeful and intentional about “being there” and “doing that” for them. Enter: Tim and Darcy Kimmel who give grandparents practical and poignant pointers on how to put the GRAND back into GRANDparenting in their book EXTREME GRANDparenting!

As they share, “Word on the street is that 60 is the new 40!” Many in the grandparenting status (notice I did not say “age”) are still living life quite fast and full – so learning how to incorporate the grandparenting role while still living our own full life is essential for us. They helped me to keep in perspective how important and necessary my role is, and to not take that for granted. With our grandson (and his sweet folks) living in our home temporarily, it was helpful that the Kimmel’s also addressed how to address the topic of “when the grandkids move in.” It’s been a lot of fun, since the first two years of our grandson’s life-they were long distance. Another topic they cover!

What have I learned? I have a job description. I am to learn to bless my grandchildren by speaking into their lives. What I do, how I spend time with them, stories I read and memories I share with them will all be a part of their lives and the legacy I’m to leave. We’ll all leave some kind of a legacy…what will it be? We have the opportunity to groom the next generation, and if any of listen to or read the news, we know there is a lot of work to be done! “In a balanced life,” say the Kimmel’s, “there’s plenty of room for the things that are important.”

Whatever we do will be an investment. If we think of how carefully some try to plan their monetary investments, it’s with that same thought process we should plan how to invest into our grandchildren….with a pay off that is forever not just temporary. We can invest in them by teaching them hobbies we enjoy or taking them on little outings that convey our time with them is enjoyable, but above all, sharing a “contagious faith is a powerful cornerstone for our character” and that trumps everything!

Having our daughter and her family living with us, has helped me to appreciate their great parenting skills, and I want to be sure that I am there to help, not take over nor be there in place of them. It’s a fine balance to find, but Kimmel’s have covered that topic well!

Step grandchildren? Adopted grandchildren? When divorce rocks your child’s life? Spoiling? Kimmel’s cover it all.

I get to put my almost 3 year old to bed tonight. That includes: potty, brush his teeth, read a story, say a prayer, and sing a song (he does not care that I can’t sing)….and then repeat it a few times in a particular order….before I kiss his cheek and turn out the lights….so excuse me…I have some memories to make while I leave my legacy!

====================

BUY IT!

Throughout the month of September, Extreme Grandparenting is 30% off! 

To take advantage of this awesome deal, shop at the Family Matters {Online} Store.

====================

This year is the 30^th anniversary of Family Matters. That’s right folks! We’ve been at this thing for three decades now! We have met so many wonderful people, partnered with some great ministries like Focus on the Family and Family Life, and God has used our efforts to touch the lives of countless families with the message of His grace. Praise the Lord!! One of the ways we would like to celebrate what God has done in us and through us is to highlight one resource a month as a way to familiarize you with what Family Matters has to offer in order to minister to you better.

This month’s resource highlight is Extreme Grandparenting.  In Extreme Grandparenting, Tim and Darcy Kimmel guide all grandparents to help develop richer relationships with their children and their children’s children.

Within the pages of Extreme Grandparenting, you’ll find candid answers to questions like these:

• “I loved being a parent, but I need direction on how to be a grandparent. I know it’s different.”
• “I blew it as a parent, but I’ve learned a lot over the years. How can I best apply that as a grand parent?”
• “I live far away from my children. What can I offer my grandchildren?”

Discover how you can reach and relate to grandchildren, not only as a mentor and loving family member, but as a spiritual rock during the hard times. Extreme Grandparenting encourages you to give the greatest gift possible to family: yourself.

If you’re eager to get your hands on a copy of this amazing resource (for yourself OR to give as a gift), we have some great news! We want our Family Matters Blog readers to have a chance to win a copy of Extreme Grandparenting!

Like all of our giveaways, you have to do a little something… ====================

IN IT TO WIN IT!

*One entry per person per method of entry. Be sure to enter a separate comment for each method of entry (one comment for Facebook, one comment for Twitter, etc.). This way you have a higher chance of winning.

1. COMMENT: Leave a comment on this blog post telling us why you’d like to read Extreme Grandparenting. 

2. TWITTER: Follow Family Matters on Twitter – just copy and paste this message into your tweet Hey! @Family_Matters is giving away a copy of #ExtremeGrandparenting! http://wp.me/p2fUlp-1fz

3. FACEBOOK: Like Family Matters on Facebook.

4. EMAIL/RSS: Sign up to receive our blog updates via Email or RSS feed.

====================

Giveaway ends Friday, September 7th, 2012. Winner is chosen randomly and will be announced here as soon as they’ve accepted the prize. Good luck, everyone!

====================

BUY IT!

But there’s more… too eager to wait and see if you’ve won? We don’t blame you.  Throughout the month of September, Extreme Grandparenting is 30% off! 

To take advantage of this awesome deal, shop at the Family Matters {Online} Store.

====================

We all know that every child is a gift from God. In fact, the scripture says this very thought. Behold, children are a gift of the Lord; …. Psalms 127: 3

But some of these little gifts become even more special when they’re added to one’s own family. We’ve just been blessed with another grandchild and we’re so thankful for this new little life. Hayes Davis Kimmel – born to our son Cody and his wife Lauren in Dallas,TX.

We flew to Dallas the morning of his birth and had the privilege of seeing him just a few minutes after he was born. In fact he was so new, he was still steaming! I don’t think there’s a wonder and pride that compares to the ones reflected on a new Dad’s face as they show off their brand new baby.

And that’s also one of the greatest things about being a grandparent. Seeing a child (now grown up) that you love more than yourself have that same kind of love for his child and your grandchild. It’s what we call a Grand Love and it’s straight from the heart of God.

Since this new little star has arrived on the scene, his big brother (19mos.old) has come to realize that he has to share his universe with someone else. Not the easiest thing for this first born superstar to do but he’s learning and becoming the better for it.

Grandparenting is the best. It’s God’s reward for not selling your kids on Ebay!! And now that we have two little grandboys in Dallas, we’re so grateful for Skype, Face time, airplanes, frequent flyer miles and ministry opportunities inTexas.

Here’s to newborn stars and grand blessings,

Love, Darcy

This year is the 30^th anniversary of Family Matters. That’s right folks! We’ve been at this thing for three decades now! We have met so many wonderful people, partnered with some great ministries like Focus on the Family and Family Life, and God has used our efforts to touch the lives of countless families with the message of His grace. Praise the Lord!! One of the ways we would like to celebrate what God has done in us and through us is to highlight one resource a month as a way to familiarize you with what Family Matters has to offer in order to minister to you better.

This month’s resource highlight is In Praise of Plan B by Dr. Tim Kimmel © 2010

From the dustcover:

“If you travel far enough in life, you’re sure to run into some detours. Detours that sidetrack the smooth-running dreams you always envisioned and leave you someplace you never intended to be.

If you’re not careful, you can easily grow disillusioned or disappointed at the loss of Plan A. But best-selling author Tim Kimmel, who declares himself, “the patron saint of Plan B,” is here to help you turn Plan B into Plan Best!

In Praise of Plan B offers memorable, often humorous gems from Kimmel’s own experiences as well as others’. The people you’ll meet in these pages have all encountered life’s various roadblocks, yet they still found a way to soar above it all. You can too!

Here you will find touching, inspirational wisdom for every facet of life, showing you that the Plan B you were forced to settle for will ultimately yield a richer, more rewarding life than Plan A ever could have.”

We think you will love this collection of vignettes as much as we do. The book is arranged as a compilation of short stories. They can be used as part of devotionals and bible study groups, are a great family dinner time read and make great gifts! It’s so important to talk with our kids about how our “Plan A” is often different from God’s plan for our lives. What may seem like a detour from our plan is often God steering us in His direction, rather than our own.

And the best news??!!! We want our Family Matters Blog readers to have a chance to win a copy of In Praise of Plan B!

Like all of our giveaways, you have to do a little something…

====================
In it to WIN IT:

*One entry per person per method of entry. Be sure to enter a separate comment for each method of entry (one comment for Facebook, one comment for Twitter, etc.). This way you have a higher chance of winning.

1. COMMENT: Leave a comment on this blog post telling us about a time when God turned a “Plan B” into a “Plan Best” in your life.

2. TWITTER: Follow Family Matters on Twitter – just copy and paste this message into your tweet Hey! @Family_Matters is giving away a copy of their Feb Resource of the Month – #InPraiseofPlanB!

3. FACEBOOK: Like Family Matters on Facebook.

4. EMAIL/RSS: Sign up to receive our blog updates via Email or RSS feed.

====================
Giveaway ends Friday, February 17th, 2012. Winner is chosen randomly and will be announced here as soon as they’ve accepted the prize. Good luck, everyone!

It was a very sweet scene. Two little girls pouring over the Samaritan’s Purse Christmas gift catalog.  Painstakingly considering every option as they decided how to spend the money that Tim and I had budgeted for them to bless some children in another part of the globe. “Look, you can buy fish for a pond! And a boat and even a donkey. Nana, how do you send honeybees through the mail?”

“How about a goat? Yes, you can get milk from a goat and children need milk. And look here, a little girl is riding on a goat! Let’s get a goat. They give milk and rides! Two good things that children need.”

In the end, when all of the viewing and oohing and choosing were done, Riley and Lydia selected a goat, a few chickens and some blankets for the children in need. And yet like all of us, in God’s economy, our granddaughters ended up receiving so much more than they gave. They got the privilege of helping someone in need and the joy of being able to share the abundance in which they live with someone less fortunate.

Christmas can be an overwhelming “me” fest for kids. Every manufacturer is using every means possible to convince them that they cannot be happy unless they have one more thing. It’s our job to be deliberate to make Christmas about giving to others. With our example and the experiences we can provide for the little ones, blessing others can become second nature to them. Even in small ways, children can be used by God to show the world a glimpse of Christ’s love.

As parents and grandparents, the habit of compassion and generosity is a gift we can give our children and grandchildren that will serve them well all of their lives. Our heavenly Father set the example for His own children when He gave us the greatest gift of all – His only Son.

See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!
I John 3:1a

Here’s to girls, goats and good gifts,

Love,

Darcy

Here are 10 ideas that will help encourage you and your family to make Christ and others the center of this holiday season.

1. Participate in a clothing/coat/blanket drive or have your own.
2. Take cards and flowers to a nursing home or veteran’s hospital.
3. Help your kids save and earn money for Toys for Tots or Angel Tree.
4. Fill a shoe box for Operation Christmas Child.
5. Choose a gift from the World Vision Gift Catalog.
6. Sponsor a child through Food for the Hungry.
7. Write a letter to a soldier, send a free postcard to soldier, email to soldier or send mail to an anonymous soldier.
8. Sponsor a soldier’s family for the holidays.
9. Clean out your closets, toy chest and cupboards for a food/clothing bank.
10. Make any of the above the beginning of a way of life for you and your kids.

At this stage of your life, you envisioned yourself exchanging a time clock for a tee time, having a spotless home to relax and entertain in, and taking a well deserved break from the years of raising a family and earning a living. Instead, you find yourself back at square one: homework, soccer practice, discipline, early mornings and late nights.

You may be one of the millions of grandparents who, because of some unfortunate and unforeseen circumstances, are now raising their grandchildren. There’s no question this configuration is often emotionally wrenching for both grandparents and grandchildren. But for a lot of the grandchildren involved, you may be their only hope.

Raising your grandchildren may be far more than a solution to a crisis; it might be your calling.

Here are a few tips for raising your grandchildren with the power of God’s grace:

• Deal with your disappointment. Get in a grandparent’s support group. You would be surprised at how many other grandparents are going through the same thing you are. (Our DVD study, Extreme Grandparenting is a great tool and resource for gathering a group together in your church or neighborhood)
• Make your grandchildren feel as if they are in their permanent home not just visiting. The more welcome they feel in your home, the more at ease they will feel with you and this new arrangement. 
• Hold the parents of your grandchildren accountable for whatever financial and time contribution they are capable of making. 
• Don’t allow things to get off to a poor start by not setting boundaries and expectations. 
• Investigate all public assistance programs and don’t be too proud to access them. 
• Ask other family members to pitch in (siblings, aunts, uncles, other grandparents). No need to play the martyr. 
• Don’t feel guilty if you can’t provide the optimum care and environment for this grandchild. Do what you can with God’s help and the help of others.
• Make sure your marriage, your relationships with your other children and grandchildren, and your friends aren’t completely neglected because of your added responsibilities. Consider all of these people part of your resources and support system.
• Get others praying for you. Consider joining a Moms In Touch group in your area or you may even find or start a Grandmothers In Touch group. Go to www.momsintouch.org for more information.

There’s good news coming from the efforts of the many grandparents who are raising their grandchildren. These grandparents are doing some of the best parenting being done today. These seasoned veterans have taken lemons and made lemonade as they have allowed God to take a Plan B and turn it into a Plan Best for their precious grandchildren.

He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.

Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall;

But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles;

They will run and not grow weary,

They will walk and not be faint.

Isaiah 40: 29-31

For More on Grandparenting:

Extreme Grandparenting: The Ride of Your Life and Extreme Grandparenting DVD Study