I ski up mountains. I know, you might ask “Who does that?” I do. It’s an opportunity to physically exhaust myself in order to strengthen my resolve to be a true disciple of Jesus. You see, I’m naturally self-focused and pride-filled (Jeremiah 17:9). Maybe this resonates with you?

On my latest climb up a popular ski mountain in Arizona, I was reminded how important encouragement is. Weary and tired, I struggled to reach the top of the 2000 foot climb. Close to the summit, several groups of downhill skiers took the time to bolster my determination with kind words.

One fellow mountaineer took the time to belittle my less than stellar efforts to summit in a timely manner.

As I climb, my purpose is to lay aside my needs for comfort, security, and pleasure to embrace service, sacrifice, and selflessness. In order to become a servant to all I must first yield. For me climbing a ski mountain symbolizes this posture. I enjoy going off to a quiet place to ask the Lord how He would like to stretch my attitude and thinking about such things. He is my primary source of encouragement.

I consider how the God that created the Universe cared enough about me and you to come to earth to wash the feet of His disciples and to lay down His life in service for me (John 13:8). What greater aspiration could I have then to do the same for my family, friends, neighbors and colleagues (John 15:13)?

I’m called as a true disciple to implement this posture each day (Matthew 16:24). We will grow weary in our efforts apart from encouragement from the pulpit, the Christian radio station, my daily devotion, my husband, my small group, and my mentor mom.

Our children need regular doses of encouragement if they too will grow to become true disciples of Jesus. Consider where and when they are receiving encouragement.

And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds …  — Hebrews 10:24

To encourage another is to bolster, stimulate, refresh, fortify, strengthen, reinforce, and sustain one’s confidence in a resolve.

Truthfully, I don’t think I would have reached the summit on that day without the helpful words from the downhill skiers. I was strengthened in my decision to summit by their enthusiasm for my endeavor even though they did not grasp why I was skiing uphill.

We are made for more than this world has to offer. You can REACH for the glory of heaven every day.

R – Resolve to be a living sacrifice as an act of worship (Romans 12:1).

E – Envision Jesus washing the feet of His disciples as a motivation (John 13:5).

A – Acquiesce temporal pleasures found in this world to store up treasure for the life that is truly life (1 Timothy 6:19).

C – Count the cost to be a true disciple (Luke 14:28-30).

H – Be holy as HE is holy (1 Peter 1:16).

Here are some more little snippets of insight from Dr. Kimmel’s book Connecting Church and Home, which is ready for purchase!

Dr. Tim Kimmel will also be referencing this book at the D6 Conference.  For more information about D6; go here!

Order your copy today!

Download a FREE Sample Chapter!

Any parent will tell you there are no true experts in parenting, only people who have learned from their mistakes. In my mind, the only true experts I look to are those who have parented children with Grace, and whose children are older than mine.

We moved overseas when our daughter was just 8 months old and our oldest son was born 3 months before we returned to the states. We also desire to live abroad again someday. Because of our past unique life situation and future goals, I often look to women who have raised children abroad for parenting advice. They are my Mom Hero’s. They’ve successfully raised children in the midst of different cultures and countries and huge transitions.

The first time I met Susan and her family, they lived in Germany and her children were in high school and junior high. It had been about a year since they’d moved from another European country. I was very impressed with how her teenagers interacted with us, with their parents and their peers. Although they acted like normal teenagers, they seemed to have a confidence about them that is rare in kids that age. So I asked Susan, “What did you do to raise such great, confidant kids?” Sweet and humble Susan just laughed as if I was crazy to think it were true but then said something that has stuck with me ever since. “I just played with them a lot. I spent time with them. If they liked to read, I’d read books with them. If they liked to play video games, I’d spend time playing video games.”

Is it really that simple? Do our kids just want us to spend time with them? The more and more I observe grown children who love God and love others, the more I find parents who spent intentional time with their children during the younger years. Susan’s words ring through my mind on a regular basis, perhaps because God knows I have a tendency to do things FOR my kids, but struggle with desire to do things WITH my kids.

Of course, the other common factor I see in truly great kids is Grace. As I’ve observed parents who raise kids through multiple transnational moves and changes in international schools, I’ve seen that they have parented with a lot of Grace.

If you are looking for parenting mentors, look to those families who have older children or grown children who demonstrate characteristics or life styles that you hope to see in your kids. Ask those parents for advice. I guarantee you will be getting tips from true experts.

Here are some more little snippets of insight from Dr. Kimmel’s book Connecting Church and Home, which is ready for purchase!

Dr. Tim Kimmel will also be referencing this book at the D6 Conference.  For more information about D6; go here!

Order your copy today!

Download a FREE Sample Chapter!

A couple mornings ago, I woke up with a sweet face just inches from mine. “It’s raining, mama.” She whispered. I had been lying there with eyes closed for some time listening to the rain fall. Call me crazy, but I love a rainy day. “Can we go out on the deck and play in it?” She asked. I shook my head, “no”. She giggled and ran out of the room.

By mid-morning, the rain had stopped. Then, for the rest of the day, I was plagued with this thought: Why couldn’t she play in the rain? I mentally listed all of the reasons.

They would get all wet.

That would mean a change of clothes, a.k.a. more dirty laundry.

The carpet would probably get wet when they came back inside.

It’s true. All of those things would probably result from a morning of playing in the rain. Suddenly, however, none of that bothered me.  What bothered me, in that moment, was that it had not even occurred to me to say, yes. Sometimes, “No” is just my default response. It rises to my lips before I have even fully listened to request.

Sometimes, I say “no” because I tend to be an overly worrisome mom.

Can we run outside with bare feet? 

No. After all, they may step on something sharp. They may slip and fall. Maybe, they will stub a toe. Maybe, aliens will visit our neighborhood and only steal the children whose mommies did not make them wear shoes.

Other times, I say “no” because it is just not convenient for me.

Can we play with our paints?

No. If we do that, I will have to gather all of the art supplies. Then, we will need to change into some different clothes. The baby will be trying to get into everything. Then, when it’s all over, there are brushes and things to clean. So on and so forth.

Then, there are those times, when I say “no” just because. Seriously, just. because.

Will you come outside with us? No.

Do you want to play Barbies with me? No.

Can we skip baths tonight? No.

Like I said, it is often just my default response. But, I want to change that. Obviously, I am not talking about agreeing to every request. You are not going to suddenly find my kiddos playing in the streets or eating candy for breakfast. I do, however, want to say “yes” more often.

(As I’m typing this, my daughters came to the door and asked for some chocolate. I said, “no,” without so much as a second thought. I’m a work in progress, y’all.)

Something happened on that rainy morning. I found myself waiting for it to start raining again. I wanted to surprise my kids and let them play in it. It never did rain again that day, but you better believe I’m waiting for another chance. Because, I may have had dry carpets, but what I didn’t have was a picture of my babies dancing in the rain. Of the two, I think I made the wrong choice.

I do not think I’m the only one who gets stuck in “no” mode.

Maybe you, like me, need to give “yes” a try. Yes – to staying up past bedtimes. Yes – to blanket forts in the living room. Yes – to playing outside with kids and ignoring the laundry for a little while. Yes – to playing in the rain.

Let’s loosen up a little and enjoy our kiddos. They won’t always be asking for snuggles on the couch or pushes on the swing. The dusty tables and dirty dishes will still be there tomorrow.

I have to go, now. I need to get my kids some chocolate.

Has God ever illustrated a spiritual principle to you through your children? I think that’s one of the reasons He loans those kids to us. Maybe that’s why He gave Tim and me four – we needed to learn a lot of lessons. Kids are one of God’s visual aids in our lives and God used our daughter Shiloh to show me the power of my words one afternoon in my kitchen.

It was the beginning of lacrosse season and Shiloh was commenting on how out of shape she was and how frustrated she was, as the team captain, with her performance at practice that day. This is where I proceeded to put not one, but both feet, in my mouth. I said something like, “Yeah, Shiloh, I saw you dropping the ball out there. It looked like you were having a hard time keeping a hold of anything today.”

Shiloh finished her snack and went upstairs and that’s when the Holy Spirit convicted me. I realized my words that so easily slipped out were not the words that she needed to hear. Shiloh didn’t need another critic, she needed a cheerleader. She had been on the edge of despair at practice, knowing that she wasn’t doing her best and she had rushed home, needing to have some assurance that it was just a bad day – that she wasn’t a bad player. I chose to join the crowd of detractors. I realized that I was the one who failed that day. I went upstairs and found her crying. She told me that she knew she was dropping the ball. What she needed was someone to tell her that she could catch it.
She needed words of belief, words of help and words of affirmation. Our kids have people telling them how they’re not measuring up all day long. They need to know that there is one person (us) that they can count on to believe in them, to support them, to love them no matter how they perform.

“Shiloh, please forgive me. I had no right to say that. I love watching you play. I am so proud of the way your team looks up to you and follows your leadership. Please forgive me. I am very sorry and I love you so much.” Just another set of words strung together, but exactly what she needed to hear. Her face transformed into a smile and she gave me a hug.

God used that instance to remind me of the power of supportive words and also the power of asking for forgiveness when I’ve blown it. After her season started, Tim and I were sitting in the stands watching her team play and one of the parents leaned over to us and said, “Congratulations on Shiloh. You must be very proud”. Well, of course, we’re proud of Shiloh for lots of reasons but asked if there was something specific he was referring to. He said yes, that according to the official stats at that point in the season, Shiloh was the number one girl’s high school lacrosse player in Arizona. That year, she led the state in hat tricks and points scored. The next year was her senior year and, in a deliberate effort to hand her position of leadership over to the younger players, she decided to let them score and she led the state in assists.

I’m convinced that had I not replaced my words of criticism with words of belief, help and affirmation, her stats may have been very different. Just a few words, but oh so powerful!

Here’s to the power of positive words and eating lots of crow,

Love, Darcy

I don’t know about you, but for me May can be a crazy maker! It seems that school ramps up exponentially because anything and everything that has not gotten done needs to get done – from assignments to field trips!

Add to that the graduation invitations, wedding invitations and finalizing the summer vacation plans and you might just find most moms reeling from calendar deadline and to do list overload!

How about we just agree right now to put the brakes on crazy busy May and choose to stop and smell the roses…and all those other flowers that are out there blooming as a result of the promise of Spring.

We can jump in and join the crazy, or we can choose to step back, take a deep breath and make the decision to purposefully set aside time to enjoy life, and our family.

For me that begins with allowing “extra” time each day to relax through a bit more praise and worship music, some more lingering in the word of God and even a bit more “silly” attitude. My kids and I seem to be breaking out in song and dance more than usual, sharing funny videos and even chiding and joking each other with increased regularity! Because I am feeling pressed, rather than succumbing to being on edge I am choosing purposeful light heartedness – it is a choice after all!

Sweet friends – whenever crazy schedules start to squeeze that is our cue to make a purposeful decision to seek peace and refuge. Here’s the best part of making that choice – our children are watching and learning and don’t we all want our children to learn how to combat stress?

Maybe that’s why Mother’s Day is in May – to help us feel celebrated during this packed full month!

How do you battle against your crazy packed schedule?

Here are some more little snippets of insight from Dr. Kimmel’s book Connecting Church and Home, which is ready for purchase!

Dr. Tim Kimmel will also be referencing this book at the D6 Conference.  For more information about D6; go here!

Order your copy today!

Download a FREE Sample Chapter!

“Are you sure you want to do this?  We are still pretty young…” I asked my husband the night before his “Let’s-make-sure-we-don’t-get-pregnant-again” surgery. He waited a while and then responded with “I never thought I would have 3 kids by 30.” And that was that.

But that got me thinking – I never thought I would have three kids by the age of 30 either!  I laid there in bed that night thinking about all the ideas and plans I had for myself when I was growing up.  I pictured myself living in college dorms, possibly traveling to another country with a friend, or even knowing what I wanted to do with my life before starting a family.

I am a planner at heart; from my grocery list made out in the pattern I walk the isles of my Fry’s to my life goals planned out from short term to long term and the boxes next to each one.  Some call this Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, I call it My Life.

Then the pang of guilt set in.

I had to stop and allow myself to think of all the great things I had accomplished all while living out my own Plan B.

I wasn’t able to attend college and live in dorms, but I did earn my Bachelor Degree (all while taking care of three young kids, thank you very much).  I never went back packing with my best friends, but I do get to take wonderful vacations with my family and plan second and third honeymoons with my life-long best friend.  And as for “knowing what I want to do with my life”, well, I have decided that if Plan A worked out all perfectly as planned…I would definitely be bored.

I am grateful my life took those turns, loops and ups & downs that I wasn’t looking for or planning on.  I have absolutely no regrets about my life thus far; after all, Plan A was just MY idea and not His plan.

Need some encouragement on your Plan B or know someone who could use some?  “Plan B” written by Dr. Tim Kimmel will help with these little moments.

Here are some more little snippets of insight from Dr. Kimmel’s book Connecting Church and Home, which is ready for purchase!

Order your copy today!

Download a FREE Sample Chapter!