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A Mother’s Guilt

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Mothers manufacture a lot of guilt, especially when it comes to making sure their kids are prepared to face the big, scary world. I experienced this a lot as my kids were getting ready to leave the nest. I would go through a mental checklist. Did they know how to:

Handle a credit card

Wash their own clothes

Make Ramen Noodles and Macaroni and Cheese

Change a tire or call a tow truck

Write a thank you note or email

Etc, Etc.

With my girls, I also thought they should know how to sew – at least enough to keep ahead of loose buttons and ripped hems. But on this one, they really weren’t very interested in learning. Until…it made sense within their own world and then they taught themselves. Our youngest daughter acquired the skill when her best friend was going on a mission’s trip to Africa and could only wear long skirts. Shiloh’s labor of love resulted in 4 or 5 colorful, flowing skirts for her special friend.


Our oldest daughter saw the light of Singer when she was a young bride and needed curtains and crib bedding for their new baby on the way. Now they both sew circles around me. Karis made beautiful matching quilts for their two girls this Christmas and Shiloh regularly sews stunning purses that are sold to support a ministry for young girls who just need an extra boost.


Although I could have beaten myself up for missing the chance to teach my girls how to sew before they left home, somewhere along the way, they learned how to love and serve  their families and give to those who just need a little added help.


It’s a good reminder to keep the main things the main things. When we concentrate on our kids’ hearts, sure we might fail to imbue some of our checklist items, but we teach the life and love skills that make a difference in God’s Kingdom. Whether they learn how to thread a bobbin or not.


Here’s to zig zag living and seamless love,




Darcy Kimmel

Darcy Kimmel has a heart for encouraging and equipping parents and grandparents to maximize their unique callings in life with the Grace Based Parenting model for relationships. Her greatest joy comes from her own family and relationships. Darcy speaks at marriage and parenting events with her husband Tim. As a writer, Darcy is co-author of several books on parenting, grandparenting and family relationships.



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