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03
Mar
2014

Me and My Big Mouth

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Laura Petherbridge, Family Matters, Grace Based Parenting, Dr. Tim Kimmel, The Smart Stepmom

 

“I couldn’t get into the pool or the shower today because they were so crowded,” I huffed to the administrator at my local gym. Before she could reply I stomped out the door.

 

Immediately, I was convicted. The little voice deep inside said, “Laura, you were extremely rude to that woman. You have no right to talk to her that way. Go back and apologize — now!”

 

I’ve been in this place before. I hate it. The familiar sinking feeling after I have allowed annoyance and indignation to spew out of my mouth onto an innocent bystander was upon me. I had to turn around and tell the woman how sorry I was for speaking to her in an offensive manner. She accepted my apology but the outburst left a weight on my soul.

 

The plague of, “I’m entitled” had once again attacked and captured my thoughts. This particular time it was due to overcrowding in my local gym which prevented me from completing my exercises. I knew it was time to capture and wrestle my arrogant attitude to the ground.

 

The best way to dissolve the suffocating tentacles of vanity or entitlement is to replace the thoughts with gratitude. Therefore, over a cup of coffee, (which let’s face it perks up any negative situation), I began to list things related to the pool incident for which I’m grateful.

 

  • “Thank you, Lord for allowing me to live in Florida in a climate where I can swim often.”
  • “Thank you, Lord that I am healthy enough to swim, there are many who cannot. Including my three friends, (named them) who are currently struggling with major health issues.”
  • “Thank you, Lord that I live in a country where I am free to come and go as I please.”
  • “Thank you, Lord for placing me in a subdivision where the pool and gym are easily accessible.”
  • “Thank you, Lord that I don’t have to pay an extra fee to use these facilities.”
  • “Thank you, Lord that I have a job that is flexible which allows me time to go to the pool.”
  • “Thank you, Lord for immediately convicting me of my inappropriate and distasteful behavior.”
  • “Thank you, Lord for your discipline. Even though it hurts I know you are a good Daddy who loves me enough to tell me when I’m wrong.”
  • “Thank you, Lord for your patience with me, and for forgiving me when I sin.”

 

After pondering this list my negative attitude transformed into gratitude.  I was no longer focused on how “my rights,” had been violated at the gym that morning. Rather, my focus shifted which renewed joy into my mind, heart, and soul.

 

In a society where everything is so self-centered it’s easy to become consumed with an entitlement perspective. However, a persistent focus on what I deserve turns into narcissism and pride. Those emotions typically lead to loneliness, frustration, and emptiness. when I’m focused on me I’m not very enjoyable to be around.

 

This doesn’t mean we should never take time for ourselves, or live as a doormat letting people walk all over us. There is a huge difference between being kind and being an enabler. When I have a humble attitude, I’m placing the other person’s interests above my own. This leads to a heart that is at rest, and a mind that is at peace.

 

Jesus knew this all too well when he said, “For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” Mark 10:45 (NIV)

 

 


 

Are you a Stepmom? Laura Petherbridge has just started a new community for you at Sisterhood of Stepmoms where they provide help, healing and hope for any woman dating, engaged or married to a man with kids.

 

 

Laura Petherbridge

Laura Petherbridge serves couples and single adults with topics on spiritual growth, marriage and relationships, stepfamilies, co-parenting, and divorce recovery. She is an international speaker and author of When “I Do” Becomes “I Don’t” -Practical Steps for Healing During Separation and Divorce, and The Smart Stepmom, co-authored with Ron Deal, and endorsed by Gary Chapman (Five Love Languages). Laura is a featured expert on the DivorceCare DVD series, and has appeared on Focus on the Family, Family Life Today, Moody Broadcasting, Christianity Today’s Marriage Partnership and Crosswalk.com. She and her husband, Steve, reside in Summerfield, FL. www.LauraPetherbridge.com

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