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16
Jun
2014

Self{ie} Help

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Selfie Help, Family Matters, Grace Based Parenting, Michelle Hutchison, Dr. Tim Kimmel

 

I think selfies are funny- mostly because we often show the side of ourselves we want others to see…

 

…but that might not actually exist in real life.

 

Take my Facebook profile photo for example. I talked to someone recently who saw this selfie before actually meeting me in person. Their take? That I was a twenty-something fashionista upstart, living on a wing and a prayer.

 

So. Not. Me.

 

My glammed- up Instagrams seem to show a young woman who’s got it all together when the truth is, I totally envy that carefree girl in the (filtered) frame.

 

It’s easy to lose the sense of our true selves when the whirlwind of life sets in. There are so many wonderful responsibilities that come with being a wife and a mother that it’s not only easy, but practically necessary, to throw ourselves headlong into the flurry of activity.

 

But then it seems that this accompanying sense of guilt sets in. Like there’s now this funky little part of us that starts feeling bad about doing something just for ourselves, especially when we’re needed in so many places.

 

Sure, I spend my fair share of time pinning recipes and DIY projects in the wee hours of the morning. But that’s not exactly what I’m talking about.

 

Not long after becoming a mother, I consciously began the process of withdrawing from the part of my life that was just for me.  It just didn’t seem like the right fit anymore- like the time to enjoy just being me was in the past and no longer compatible with my “new assignments.”

 

And while there is some ounce of truth in this, as time went on I began to realize that I’d completely killed off the “me” that arrived here in the first place- the dreamer. Worst yet, in doing so, I also realized  how much harder it was to joyfully take on those “wonderful responsibilities” I now had.

 

So what’s a grouchy girl to do?

 

I flipped open Proverbs 31 to get a little inspiration via one of my favorite women. If you’ve not spent much time in this section of the Bible, let me tell you- this chick had it going on! Like many of us, she’s your typical wife and mother (you know, buying fields, planting vineyards, hand-weaving clothes, that sort of thing). But she doesn’t stop there-  she’s a businesswoman, a diplomat, and a philanthropist.

 

And she seems to be absolutely loving every minute of it!

 

Suddenly I was reminded that among the roles I play, that being a wife and mother are just two among many. And while these roles are of crucial importance, they don’t just wipe out the rest of who God has made me uniquely to be.

 

God entreats us to enjoy His creation. Reflecting on this, I thought to myself, “don’t you think that includes finding enjoyment in what He’s created in you?”

 

So I thought I’d take a crack at the Proverbs 31 life and finally went for something I’d always wanted to do. I started a home- based business.

 

It’s the kind of thing that allows me to put my family first, much like the mom-trepreneur extraordinaire of Proverbs 31. But having goals and dreams that are just my own have unexpectedly refreshed and reinvigorated my attitude towards caring for my family.

 

And made me a little more like the self(ie) I want to be.

 

Have you struggled with or found success with maintaining this sort of balance in your own life? Comment below!

 

 

Michelle Donnelly is a homeschooling single mother of three
and the founder of Agape Moms, an outreach ministry for single mothers. She’s
also the author of a powerful Bible study resource for single moms called Seen:
Hope and Healing for Single Moms
. You can learn more about Agape Moms by
visiting http://www.agapemoms.com

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