Blog  /  Marriage, Parenting, Resources  /  Resource of the Month :: High Cost of High Control :: June 26

High Cost of High Control, Dr. Tim Kimmel, Family matters, Grace Based parenting, Resource of the month


“In {the} “Appearance is everything” homes, a child might be struggling from the friction between his parents, but he’s forbidden to mention anything to relatives or teachers who could offer him emotional support while his parents work out their differences. Or a family might be experiencing a series of financial setbacks, but their daughter is forbidden from mentioning anything to her Sunday shcool teacher who might be able to gve her spiritual encouragement. The parents are trying to avoid embarrassment or having to answer sensitive questions, but often at the innocent family members’ expense. Because the parents are as victimized by their insecurities as their children, they are often incapable of supporting their children.


Pride causes families to create mirages through the unwilling or unwitting cooperation of their own members. What we don’t realize when we’re creating mirages is that they only work from a distance. When people get close enough, they will see us for what we are.


Numbers 32:23 says, “Be sure your sin will find you out.” That’s a good reminder for passive controllers who think that creating illusions will ultimately work. Homes of honor have nothing to hide. Homes of trust have nothing to lose.


Dr. Tim Kimmel, Family Matters, High Cost of High Control. Grace Based Parenting, Resource of the Month





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