Blog  /  Parenting, Special Needs  /  It’s Not HOW I Do it but WHY

06
Apr
2015
Parenthood, Special Needs, Grace based parenting, Family matters, Cindi Ferrini

 

Wouldn’t you love to know how many times you and I have been asked, “HOW do you do it?” I love the proverbial, “If I had a dime for every time I was asked that question, I’d be rich!” as one possible answer to that.

 

When asked “How do you do it?” I used to say:

 

  • Oh, the Lord gives me strength, just when I need it.
  • We all learn to do what we’ve been called to do.
  • You do what ya gotta do.
  • Who else is going to do it? (Ok, that has a little attitude attached, can you relate?)

 

I’ve started to answer a little differently than I had because those answers really don’t answer what I truly mean.

 

I recognize that when doing certain things, I must simply get in the mode of what I need to do and just get it done….things (past and present) like:

 

  • Changing a messy diaper on an older child not yet potty trained
  • Cleaning another mess my child made because they didn’t know any better
  • Holding my child for days on end when seizures aren’t stopping
  • Dealing with his grown up anger or other quirky habits
  • Trying to overlook things that drive me nuts (attitude, sorry) like shuffling his feet across the tile floor (I know, I AM thankful he walks!)
  • Wondering if he’ll ever learn or “get” things I’m saying, or want him to learn
  • Nightly (and daily) homework and therapies….over and over and over and over…
  • Helping him learn to interact with his peers, siblings, others, us….politely (yes, this is ongoing!)
  • YOU ADD YOURS:

 

But what I’ve learned in this ongoing process since 1981 is this: I love him. I will do anything for, with, and because of him. I don’t always like it; but I always love him. And because of that, when I feel like I don’t get out like I wish I could, or I’ve missed another opportunity to meet with friends or dinner out with couples, or I can’t take a trip I’ve longed to take, I realize that I really do have something far more important, and that is a sense of responsibility to my son because of my love for him.

 

It’s not how I do it, but why…and it’s worth it!

 

 

Joe and Cindi Ferrini

Joe and Cindi have been married since 1979, live in Cleveland, OH, have 3 grown children (one with special needs), grandchildren, and enjoy speaking and writing together on topics related to marriage and family (FAMILYLIFE’S “WEEKEND TO REMEMBER Get-A-Ways” as well as for organizations pertaining to special needs), leadership, and time/life management. Joe has practiced dentistry since 1978; Cindi enjoys writing (books, blogs, articles, etc.), speaking, radio, and social media. Together they have written articles and blogs for Focus on the Family, FamilyLife, http://specialneedsparenting.net and here at FamilyMatters, and authored UNEXPECTED JOURNEY: When Special Needs Change our Course. They’d love to connect with you at: www.joeferrini.com or www.cindiferrini.com

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