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Grace based parenting

Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”

When this passage is read directly from the Hebrew text it actually says, “Train up a child according to their unique inner bent.”

This meaning implies a few things that we as parents need to consider:

First, we need to know what our child’s “unique inner bent” is. The word “unique” tells us, in no uncertain terms, that no two kids are alike. Most parents know that their kids are very different from each other, but they are unsure of how to define those differences in a way that can give them insight into the heart of their child.

Second, this passage tells us that we are to “train up our child” according to this distinctive hardwiring. Essentially, the Bible is directing us to customize our parenting to our children.

Customizing your parenting to each of your kids can seem like an insurmountable task. But keep in mind that there are universals that are true regardless of your child’s unique inner bent. All children will thrive in an atmosphere of grace. All children have a driving need for a secure love, a significant purpose and a strong hope. But the way that you meet these needs is translated differently for each child.

To help parents with this process, Family Matters is offering a new product called the Kids Flag Page. This is a colorful, interactive tool that will provide lots of fun for your kids while helping you discover each child’s unique inner bent. Also included in the kit is a book written by Dr. Tim Kimmel that will help you take what you have learned about your children and use it to customize your parenting to meet their needs most effectively.

Take advantage of this opportunity to raise your kids according to their uniqueness, and then trust God to keep his promise: that when they are grown they will not depart from it. What an amazing gift of grace to give your kids!



{Originally published in 2010}

Karis Kimmel Murray is the author of Grace Based Discipline: How to Be at Your Best When Your Kids Are at Their Worst and the Creative Director of Family Matters®, a ministry who’s internationally hosted parenting and marriage events, radio and television broadcasts, articles, videos, website and best-selling books (written by Karis’ parents and Family Matters’ founders Dr. Tim and Darcy Kimmel,) Grace Based Parenting and Grace Filled Marriage, have been used by God to transform tens of thousands of families into instruments of His restoration and reformation.
Karis writes and speaks for Family Matters as a voice to the next generation of parents. Karis is co-host of The Family Matters Minute, a nationally syndicated one-minute radio segment heard by millions of listeners every weekday.
Karis lives in Scottsdale, Arizona with her husband Mike, their two teenage daughters and a ragamuffin menagerie of pets.



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