Blog  /  Grace, Parenting, Special Needs  /  Mom: It’s a Matter of Perspective

When our children were small, Mom Ferrini used to say, “These are the best days of your life!” Those words resonated as many times as she sweetly repeated them and certainly every time we were up all night with one child or another, every time we had an extended stay with Joey in the hospital during his seizure activity, when all the kids were acting up at once, or throwing up one after the other. We remember saying, “If these are the best days of our life, does that mean it’s only downhill from here? Stop the world-I want to get off! Can I get a pink slip or am I still employed?”

I sometimes questioned Mom’s wisdom in those early days, asking her if she really remembered things the way they really were! She helped me realize that appreciating life is a matter of perspective and we can’t always see it clearly when we’re in the middle of it! Though she has been gone for many years, her words are still loud and clear, and I’m still listening and learning! I’ve come to realize things could be much worse and harder or it could be much easier. On any given day it will vary. So I’ve trained my mind to concentrate on things like the following:

  • What a blessing it was to be able to be a mom at home that didn’t have to call off of work every time Joey was sick, had seizures, or other challenges. Thank you, Lord, for allowing me that freedom.
  • After whatever the challenge was, life would go back to our normal again. (Over the years I’ve met many families with special needs children, unable to leave their homes without a lot more effort, help and planning than I have.) Thank you, Lord, that once things get back to our normal, I am able to leave for short periods of time to run errands, etc.
  • Everything that happens has a good perspective and a challenging one. What is the good one? I concentrate on that and give thanks I can see it!
  • I’d run through questions and ask myself what God is trying to teach me through whatever is happening. (This required a broader vision of who He is, which is more easily found when reading His word daily.)
  • When tempted to wish for what others have in their “typical” children or family I learned to pray, “Lord, You have given me so many blessings on a daily basis. We have a wonderful family, two lovely daughters, and a son that keeps us “on our toes”! Please help me to understand that this one situation/challenge is only a little thing in Your overall plan. Help me to rejoice in the joy that other parents enjoy in the success their children have.”

The Lord has given you the gift of joy through Motherhood even in the midst of the challenges whether you have “typical” or special needs children. He is there to help you gain the perspective you need to go the distance. Most things come down to being a matter of perspective, and I pray you “get” it sooner than later!

As Summer begins to wind down, what perspective can you take to find the joy in the rest of this season? Comment below…

Joe and Cindi Ferrini

Joe and Cindi have been married since 1979, live in Cleveland, OH, have 3 grown children (one with special needs), grandchildren, and enjoy speaking and writing together on topics related to marriage and family (FAMILYLIFE’S “WEEKEND TO REMEMBER Get-A-Ways” as well as for organizations pertaining to special needs), leadership, and time/life management. Joe has practiced dentistry since 1978; Cindi enjoys writing (books, blogs, articles, etc.), speaking, radio, and social media. Together they have written articles and blogs for Focus on the Family, FamilyLife, http://specialneedsparenting.net and here at FamilyMatters, and authored UNEXPECTED JOURNEY: When Special Needs Change our Course. They’d love to connect with you at: www.joeferrini.com or www.cindiferrini.com

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