Blog  /    /  Ep. 14- Raising Strong Willed Kids with Cynthia Tobias


Ep. 14- Raising Strong Willed Kids with Cynthia Tobias
Grace Based Families

00:00 / 49:38

Episode #14- An Interview with Cynthia Tobias

In this episode of the Grace Based Families Podcast, Karis and Michelle have a powerful, practical conversation with Cynthia Tobias that will be so helpful for parents raising strong-willed kids.

Cynthia Tobias is the author of best-selling books, The Way They Learn and You Can’t Make Me! (But I Can Be Persuaded) and featured frequently on Focus on the Family’s Best of Broadcast, Cynthia Tobias has a successful background that includes over 32 years as an author and speaker, 8 years of teaching high school, and 6 years in law enforcement. She has written 14 books and is a featured guest on radio and television, a popular presenter for business, government agencies, churches and schools throughout the U.S and the world. She is the mother of twin sons, now young adults, and she and her husband Jack live in the Seattle area.

Five Quick Ways to Turn Conflict into Cooperation

1.Keep your voice firm and calm- A calm, firm tone of voice can help de-escalate even the most heated argument.

“Those who anger you, control you.” Cynthia Tobias

2. Listen carefully- Most people talk to you the same way they want you to talk back to them. Do your best to respond in the same way they asked you the question.

3. Turn statements into questions- Instead of saying, “I need that assignment on my desk by the end of class,” try, “Can you get that assignment on my desk by the time class is over?”

4. Focus on strengths- You can often disarm those who are angry or defensive by giving them a sincere compliment.

5. Ask yourself: What’s the point? – If you know the point, you can also ask yourself if there’s another way to get there.


6. The magic word: OK?- The difference between saying, “You need to empty the trash before you go, and “I need you to empty the trash before you go, ok?” can result in compliance 80% of the time when you use a firm, pleasant voice.

Resources and Links:

-For more information about Cynthia Tobias and to see her books and resources, go to

-For more information about Family Matters, go to

-Questions or comments? Email us at

-Follow us on social media: