Blog  /    /  Ep. 15- How and When to Talk To Your Kids About Sex


Ep. 15- How and When to Talk To Your Kids About Sex
Grace Based Families

00:00 / 38:26

-God means for Christian parents to be the primary educator of their children.

-First messages are the most potent; its more powerful to form a child’s view of sexuality from scratch than it is to correct the distorted view they might pick up from the world.

When should we start the conversation with our kids?

The short answer: Sooner than you think.

We would advise discussing the basic nature of sexual intercourse, how their bodies work and change as well as how babies are made with kids between the ages of 5-8.

We want to shape the sexual character of our children – based on a creational understanding of sexuality.

Here are some core objectives to keep in mind:

  • Establish that they are loved immensely by us (parents) and God.
  • Teach them that God designed the family to be the primary arena for the experience of devotion, love and unity
  • Develop their trust in God’s law as good
  • Convince them their bodies and capacity for sexual pleasure are blessings from God.

There are two components to a well-rounded approach to instructing your kids about sex…

  1. Is the first parent-initiated instructions session. These don’t have to be on a chalkboard, but key is the parents are initiating because its “time” for the kid to know about this subject. (Don’t wait for your kids to ask you about it!)

2. Use of the “teachable moment” whether it’s talking about a pregnant woman, during bath time, or seeing the unusual habits of animals at the zoo- seize these moments to talk to your child.

“The talk” isn’t a one-time thing, it’s an ongoing relationship and dialog!!!

Kids are going to ask us age-appropriate questions! We don’t need to feel embarrassed or nervous. We don’t need to take it so serious and awkward. Just keep the dialog open and on point with their age and stage.

Action Points:

  • If you haven’t yet, begin by initiating the conversation… if you’ve already done it-that’s great! Continue to seize teachable moments and maintain ongoing dialog
  • Seek pastoral or professional help if you are struggling with past hurts/shame/abuse
  • Pray

Resources and Links:

Karis Kimmel Murray is the author of Grace Based Discipline: How to Be at Your Best When Your Kids Are at Their Worst and the Creative Director of Family Matters®, a ministry who’s internationally hosted parenting and marriage events, radio and television broadcasts, articles, videos, website and best-selling books (written by Karis’ parents and Family Matters’ founders Dr. Tim and Darcy Kimmel,) Grace Based Parenting and Grace Filled Marriage, have been used by God to transform tens of thousands of families into instruments of His restoration and reformation.
Karis writes and speaks for Family Matters as a voice to the next generation of parents. Karis is co-host of The Family Matters Minute, a nationally syndicated one-minute radio segment heard by millions of listeners every weekday.
Karis lives in Scottsdale, Arizona with her husband Mike, their two teenage daughters and a ragamuffin menagerie of pets.



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